blah

I am sick, plus pain. Got blood results back yesterday so have to see the doctor again, as well as 2 more. Woke up with a cold or something. So I feel blah. Have plans tomorrow so hoping to feel better.
Have a trip soon, hate trying to figure to what I need to pack.
Wish I was able to connect with him.

Bad night

I had a bad night last night. I start to go to sleep. And dark thoughts hit. I start doubting things that I have no reason to doubt. Between thinking of D (and what we had, and what I would like to maybe have again) and seeing someone recently and all those thoughts and the crazy he makes me. These two men combined can mess with my head badly. Along with thoughts of doubt that I know aren't true.

Recovery

I had surgery 4 weeks ago. Recovery is going okay. Return to work next week.

Him

While out today I walked past a guy who looked a bit like him. Since it was brief, came up suddenly and the guy was wearing sunglasses I can't say for sure.
This is twice now I have seen guys who look a lot like him.
This one, as far as I could tell paid no attention to me unlike the other one.

Caring

I feel like people don't care. Maybe it is just me being over sensitive. I really need someone to make me their priority.

Briefly

I thought I saw him this weekend, but it was so brief I can't be sure.
It kinda looked like him, but also didn't look enough like him to be him so I am not sure either way.
The way they guy was looking at me makes me think it was him. Why look at me that way, that intently and for that long if it wasn't him?

Memories

The other day I suddenly had an odd memory about him. Something about taking him by his friends house once and the way I was referred to by him and his friend.
Then later, not the same day, I kinda got upset over him. I hate that because of other issues he can still hurt me, even if technically it is just me overthinking stupid things about him.