Thinking

I can't stop thinking of him.
I would love to contact him, even briefly.

Annoying

He is so fucking annoying. One, he talks too fucking loud and two, too fucking much. He also talks when I don't want him to. He will wait until I am reading and talk, I pause, wait until he is done and start reading again and he starts again and this goes on and on.

blah

I am sick, plus pain. Got blood results back yesterday so have to see the doctor again, as well as 2 more. Woke up with a cold or something. So I feel blah. Have plans tomorrow so hoping to feel better.
Have a trip soon, hate trying to figure to what I need to pack.
Wish I was able to connect with him.

Bad night

I had a bad night last night. I start to go to sleep. And dark thoughts hit. I start doubting things that I have no reason to doubt. Between thinking of D (and what we had, and what I would like to maybe have again) and seeing someone recently and all those thoughts and the crazy he makes me. These two men combined can mess with my head badly. Along with thoughts of doubt that I know aren't true.

Recovery

I had surgery 4 weeks ago. Recovery is going okay. Return to work next week.

Him

While out today I walked past a guy who looked a bit like him. Since it was brief, came up suddenly and the guy was wearing sunglasses I can't say for sure.
This is twice now I have seen guys who look a lot like him.
This one, as far as I could tell paid no attention to me unlike the other one.

Caring

I feel like people don't care. Maybe it is just me being over sensitive. I really need someone to make me their priority.