Him

I think I saw D yesterday while out. Can't be sure it was him, but it looked like him, a lot.

Week 2-week 3

I am into week 3 now. Have a lot of pain. More than I expected. I guess I figured that as time went pain would get better, not worse, but then again, I really had no idea how this was going to go.
I have a test this week ordered by my GI, and then see my orthopedist next week. He will decide if I will get the cast off or keep it on and when or if I have surgery if or if that is something to decide later.

First week

Had surgery last month, recovering well from that. Feeling mostly better, one day at a time, taking care of my health and the complications that came from the surgery and that diagnosis.
In the fall my foot started hurt, odd symptom, used a brace I had from a previous injury, saw the Urgent Care doctor after about a week as it wasn't getting better. Diagnosed it as a sprain. No big deal, being diabetic, sprains and such can be slow to heal. Just before Halloween I broke my ankle while out with a friend. Stupid moment, nothing that I could have prevented. Luckily it wasn't worse. After 2 months it wasn't healing, again not unexpected due to being diabetic and where the break was. Doctor sends me for further tests to see what exactly is going on and find out I have a coalition in my ankle. Extremely rare, something I was born with. And the reason why I have broke and sprained this ankle/foot so many times since I was a child, why little sprains take longer to heal and hurt worse, why simple turns break it. The first symptom in the fall, before the break was a symptom of this coalition, not a sprain, though most doctors commonly diagnose complications of this as sprains.
Had to see a specialist, (that took some time getting an appointment), so I spent 5 months in a boot, 5 weeks in a brace and now in a cast, for at least 4 weeks, along with crutches. Possibly will be longer, depending on how my ankle responds to the cast. Still my have to have surgery to fix this coalition. I am now on my first week in the cast and on crutches.

Odd dreams

The last couple of nights I have had dreams of a person I hate. I have no relationship with this stupid bitch and haven't for years. Until later today I haven't even had to see her name or hear about her online. But of course she had to get in the middle of something that wasn't actually her business. Blah!
A few weeks ago I had a dream involving someone connected to her.
In these dreams she is just as foul and annoying as in real life. Still not able to get resolution in the dreams and because of the connections I likely never will. I do hope that one day, the sooner the better people see this bitch for what she is. I hope one day she gets all the bad luck and bad shit in life she deserves.

Dreams

I have been having dreams since the surgery about D. Usually it is just a vague he is there, but I never see him, sometimes I am looking for him.

Alone

For a couple of reasons I decided to stay in last night, alone rather than go to either concert I thought about going to.
One reason was J. Nothing he has done, a little he hasn't done, that is causing some insecurity. I know if I saw him and it was different than I hoped or he wasn't alone I would be upset. More than I can handle right now.
Thinking again about another J and as always D.

Maybe

I used to have a band as the background image on my phone. J saw it one day and acted a bit off. He didn't say anything but it was obvious that he was mildly annoyed or something. I just thought he thought he thought it was stupid.
Now as things unfold with J, I wonder if it was something more. Maybe jealousy.