I want a man who cares when I am upset no matter how tribal or stupid. It shouldn't matter if he understands or gets it. He just has to comfort me. Why is that to much to ask for?
Right now I'm upset, mention it to him, he just continues doing what he is doing. My being upset didn't matter at all. He offered no comfort or possible solutions. Wtf?

He has some of the most annoying habits.
One is it being dinner time. Yet instead of fixing dinner he snacks. And then bitches about his size.
Of course now that I was about to get food he just got up to make his.

Yesterday was amazing. Some things were a slight disappointment but overall I have nothing to complain of. And you, you were incredible as always. Thanks for that.

I love when he is in one of his moods where it seems like he is annoyed by everything I say or by me speaking at all. Should make for a great day. No matter what I have said this morning I have gotten one word answers, and pissy grunts. Yeah thanks.
So looks like what should have been a great day, is now going to be a shit day. I can tell by his mood, the mood he is trying to put me in, the attitude of people I know already. And what i expect of the day. I know what I would like, but with you, I never expect anything. And I know you will likely do something to upset me.

Happy about today. Should be amazing. Though there will be people there that I really don't want to deal with, hopefully I want see them. But I could never get that lucky. Should see some friends. And possibly you. Though I doubt I will. Hope to say hi if I do.

I can't stop thinking about you today. Very specific thoughts.

Today wasn't as bad as it could have been. Friends at work helped keep my mind off it even though nobody there knew anything was wrong. I made sure I listened to him and you as both make me happy. Still wish you'd been here to help me. And then I got amazing news tonight.

Tomorrow is his birthday. He would be 31, instead he is forever 25.
I don't talk to anyone about him. It seems I am not allowed, for various reasons.
I wish tomorrow would never come or that I could sleep it away. Instead I have to work.
As hard as tomorrow will be for me I wish you were here with me to make it better for me, to comfort me, let me cry or let me forget, be whatever I need you to be but not judge me or make me feel bad for what that day is or how it makes me feel. Just be there, and care, care that I hurt. 
I want that everyday anyway. Someone who shows me he cares no matter what I am going through, whether he understand or agrees, someone who protects, who makes me feel better, who calms me down. I want to feel all that for someone as well. Instead, I feel nothing, just want for someone I hope to one day be with.

For some reason my jaw has been giving me trouble the last couple of days. Everything seems to irritate it. Haven't had it irritated like this in awhile.

Was hoping to see you last night but didn't. Thought of you today while alone. It felt so good. Wish it was your hands.

There is a certain way, a certain position I want you to fuck me. I will never tell him what it is, and if he ever thinks of trying it I will refuse because I don't want him ruining this on like he ruined one before.

I have been thinking of you so much today. Hopefully I will see you soon, though I don't know if I will talk to you. I want to but not sure I will have any reason to. I also don't want others around when I do, but know they will be. I know others will suck up your time. Or hover around me.
I would love to spend a bit of time just us. I would love for you to talk to me, find me and start talking to me. And I would especially love it if you would have as little as possible contact with a certain person/people.

Have to say again that I don't care who views this (or other blogs/sites) but if you know me (in life or online) and you DON'T LIKE ME, then get the fuck off and go away. You have no reason to be viewing anything that I post.

I am super emotional and pissed about stupid things. I know what the cause is. Something I am not allowed to talk about with anyone in my life because they either think it is stupid, don't understand or somehow just make me feel bad.
I would love for you to comfort me. I find myself taking this mood out on you. (Different blog, hopefully you don't read them) I have to remember that you are not to blame, and that I can't let every bad mood effect how you might think of me. But sadly as soon as I get upset the first thing I do is doubt that. It is like I can't imagine you would ever want to have anything to do with me, on any level even though you have never indicated that, and in fact might have shown otherwise (no idea- don't know what you think or mean).

I past a place where your name and a name you know me by intersect.

Today is going to be a long day. Woke up early and can't go back to sleep.
So horny, been thinking about you. Would love to be with you this morning. Feel you inside me. That would be amazing. Hopefully soon.

Wishing you were here

I really wish you were here with me instead of him. I doubt you would enjoy what I am doing but I could spend time with you and that would be enough, and we could find somethings that you would enjoy as well.

Time with you

I wish I was spending the weekend with you. I have almost 2 weeks off from work. I would so love to spend some of that time with you.

Making changes

I get so tired of people who bitch and moan about their life and do nothing to change it.
I know what I what and plan on getting there, however it is taking me time to be able to make those changes.
I have a friend who constantly bitches and moans about her life, saying she is going to change, yet she doesn't do anything to make it happen, doesn't even try.

Family

With everything that has been happening with my family recently I am starting to realize why I have some of the issues I do, why I feel the way I do about myself and why I doubt how others feel about me.