What is with people who think they have the right to say whatever they want to me online no matter how rude, no matter that they know nothing about me?
I don't say anything online to anyone I wouldn't say in person. I usually don't say names because I am venting and names don't need to be said when I am angry or upset as the feeling might pass.
I get this from family (well one was married into my family and the other is someone in his family) and strangers.
The latest one was funny. If that person only knew how wrong she was in what she said. Compare me to someone when you know nothing about me and there are others who far exceed anything I could think of.

I have had the worst week emotionally. I keep starting to have dark thoughts again tonight. Rationally I know everything is okay, that until you tell me one way or another I don't know what you are thinking, and that I can assume based on what you say in interviews and others say about you that know you, and what you say to me that all is good. Now that doesn't mean anything will ever happen but it means I shouldn't get so upset and convince myself that they is no way you'd ever be with me.
I fear that certain basic things will never happen for me. Being truly loved and in love, passion, wanting the man I am with, kissing, feeling anothers tongue. All of this may seem stupid, but when you don't have it, and you want it, it gets upsetting and is so easy sometimes to get upset about. I think about how I will probably never get married or have kids, even though I don't know that I want any of my own. Being with him as long as I have, and not yet married I don't think it will ever happen, I wouldn't anyway. And I don't think there will be anyone else. I fear being alone, that nobody will ever want to be with me. I fear my flaws, both physical and emotional/personality are enough to prevent anyone from wanting to be with me. Especially you. I can't imagine you would actually want me, not for one night, let alone a relationship.
He doesn't make me feel loved. I don't know what that feels like.
I know few people actually care about me, and you are one who likely doesn't. I feel like if you cared, at all, even a small amount, you'd find a small way to make me feel better, to let me know that you care, but you don't. I am trying to remember that maybe you don't read this, that you have said you prefer face to face, and that you treat me one way in person, but at the same time, you still don't treat me all that special then either which contributes to me thinking you don't care.
Just having a hard time, I think because of the time of year. Next weekend is going to be really hard.

I really hate seeing/reading/hearing things that make me feel insecure. I have no right to feel that way with you, not in the position I am in, but I still do.

I am so tired of bad days, well for me usually bad nights, where I over think and over analyze everything. I try to keep things you have said and done in perspective of the things I know of your personality and how you handle things. I tend to think the worst when I have bad nights. I don't know what you think of me at all or that you even think of me. Sometimes that alone is enough to upset me. I try to keep thoughts in the positive, assuming the best, knowing or at least thinking you say what you mean. That things are good. I have good feelings about things based on what I know. I just wish I didn't have so many bad days and had more from you.

I haven't seen you in 2 months. I try not to think about you so much lately. I would love to be with you, to spend time with you, to see you smile, to hear you laugh, your voice. I want time that is just mine and not shared with lots of other people. I know what I want from you. And plan on trying to make happen. But don't know if it will.
I worry that the last few times you reacted the way you did with me because of somethings that I had said online, that they got back to you. That is all fine, but only if you mean it. Don't be nice to me because you are doing me a favor, treat me the way you want to treat me, not the way I want you to treat me.
Fights with him, and just finding him annoying lately, so close to ending it.

Was thinking of you. What I want to be doing to you. And you came on. I moaned. He didn't pay attention or if he heard me ignored it.

Alone, listening to you, wearing your bands shirt. I'd love to have you here with me. The goofy things you say on stage. I would love to talk to you. The things you say when we talk. To hear you speak. To hear your voice. Just to spend some time with you. To see your smile and hear you laugh.