Just shut up you stupid, annoying bitch! When the fuck are you going to understand that no matter how much you "like", comment, repost/reblog on any social media network, no matter how much you suck up to people that you aren't liked, you are tolerated. A handful of people might like you, but not the ones you are so desperate for the attention and like from do. Calm down or better yet go the fuck away.
I don't understand how you can't see how others see you. Two that you want the most don't like you. Funny enough considering who they are. Maybe that is why you hate me so fucking much.

When you realize that one person does things to bug the fuck out of you, including liking someone because you do and their jealousy eats them up it is just as funny because they can never do anything about the other person you like.
It is kind of how girls will never like a guy until another girl likes him, then everyone has a crush on him. Only this time unless she wants to reveal just how jealous and fake and petty she is then she can't.

His procrastination annoys me so much. He needs to leave so I can do what I need to do. I hate that he does this. It is one of the things that can set off my anger more than anything. But I can't say anything about it because he doesn't see he is doing anything wrong, and when he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong then he just becomes a dick and I'm a major bitch. But sorry, sitting there doing NOTHING, because you can't get motivated or aren't ready to do something is fucking stupid. The other night he was tired but didn't go to bed because he wasn't "ready to give up his freedom." He is a fucking adult. More than time to grow the fuck and do the things that need to be done when they have to be done. Including going to fucking bed!
Oh, and he just went online to check some fucking bullshit concert. This is what he does instead of going and doing what he needs to be doing.

Why can you bring me down? Almost all my negative thoughts are because of you. You aren't even really in  my life. So why do you have so much control on it?

I had an amazing day.
I realize in the end you don't think of me at all. But I'm sure you think of her.

Everything has been going pretty well. Working on improving so much. 

And then I see something that annoys me so much. How can that person work in that field? Impossible. Either she is lying or she has impossible connections. Such bullshit. I also find it hard to believe she could pass the needed drug test.

I had wondered if a certain person might be viewing things I post. 

It is highly possible and that makes me happy. 

Girl I graduated my degree with and works in the field just posted the dumbest, and most inaccurate "medical" facts chart on facebook. She believes it. It was not done ironically. Shouldn't she fucking know all that info is 100% wrong.
Reasons why I hate stupid people.

I hate when he refuses to go to bed. And since he is only working a half day tomorrow he obviously sees no reason to go to bed. But I'm tired and want to alone time before I go to bed so he fucking needs to go to sleep so I have some time. Why is he like this?

How is someone this stupid?
Making dinner. First he forgets to cut the pepper. Then he just STOPS making dinner cause I said sit for a bit. Yes but I assumed that he had dinner going, so I have been waiting. Get up to make a drink and start eating and discover that no, still need another 20-30 minutes because he stopped in the middle. Who does this? Then I get it going, add the last couple of things, and he says, "is it going?" Meaning do I have the burner on. Yes, yes I do. I am not that stupid. His reason for asking, he couldn't see it. Just because you can't see don't mean anything! How the fuck am I going to finish it if I don't turn it on? And what would be the point of adding the last bit if I didn't turn it on?!

Okay seriously this is fucking old. He was my fucking cousin too, but everyone who is a mutual friend with my sister comments on things she posts, ignoring what I post, or they post on hers as well. What the fuck? How the fuck does this work? Why is her posts about it or her feelings about it more important than MINE? And what pisses me off most, I post things before she did. And some of these fucking people are my friends, only know her through me.
This really doesn't help the feeling ignored part of my depression at all.

I have a friend that most times when I text I don't get a reply, ever. I she texts me first and I reply, I usually don't hear back.
Now I could write this off as she just doesn't get my texts, but then she would be the only one, on a regular basic, every text or almost every text who doesn't get them. And I doubt that.
I can post things on facebook and she rarely comments or likes, but I can see her liking things and commenting on mutual friends. With what is going on now, she liked/commented on my sisters post about it. So did a couple of other people, people who are my friends, that my sister only knows through me.
Sorry if I sound a bit whiny but I am dealing things, and these issues are things that are making some of my problems worse.

I have so much stress and tension in my neck and shoulders, my jar is aching. I have taken pain medication several times, should probably take my prescription but don't want to just yet. I could go for a massage or stress relief.
I would love to have one of the or both of the people I think of contact me, but I know that won't happen.
Hell sadly, some people who should be showing me they care aren't but can pay attention to my sister.

I want to believe that my family is being overly dramatic, but somehow it won't be that way when I need them to be. Why does that only happen when I never care? This time because I want it that way, it won't be.

I woke up this morning having a bad day. It didn't get better for most of the day.
It still isn't as the person I want is unavailable so even if they like me it doesn't matter.
Then bullshit with him happens. And of course he turns it around to say that I am a selfish bitch who doesn't like him to do things. Bullshit. He has a concert on his own coming up and we have tickets to no less than 2 other shows that he wants to go to. He is also going to an addition show later this summer without me. But I don't let him do things. Yeah.
It is typical behavior of his to turn things around on me and make me the bad guy and him the victim.
So tired of it.

I get so tired of the petty bullshit with friends of friends. A certain friend will post things on Facebook, nobody comments on it, until myself or a few others do and then BAM! others do, it could be hours since she posted when the first comment is added. Wtf? I doubt her other friends just suddenly saw it AFTER others commented. I think they do it out of pettiness.